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This page is for events featuring Red. Please enjoy and feel free to check out other Scripts if you like.

Events Before JoiningEdit

Wife FlagEdit

  • IF: Geez, It's a lot more difficult when I do this alone. I must've gotten soft. Having a party is a huge advantage. *Takes out her cellphone* Maybe I should check up on Nep and the others.
  • ???: Agggghhhh!
  • IF: A scream! Where did it come from? Right? Left? Where are you? I'm coming to help!
  • (IF is suddenly on the ground with another Girl on top)
  • IF: Oww!
  • ???: Aww, what's the matter? You're not allowed to be sleepy yet.
  • IF: I'm not sleepy! Who are you? G-Get off of me!
  • ???: Oh my, no can do. When you tell me to get off, it just makes me not want to.
  • IF: Then... don't get off?
  • ???: Don't worry, I have no intention to.
  • (Scene changes to black)
  • IF: Ugh! Just get off, seriously!
  • ???: Well you're a demanding one. You didn't have to stand up so suddenly. Ouch...
  • IF: I warned you. Where did you come from? Are you hurt?
  • ???: Hurt...? Nope, thanks to you protecting me with your body...
  • IF: ...it wasn't intentional.
  • ???: Ooh, modesty sure is a turn-on! I like you humble attitude. What's your name, chick? My name is Red. Y'know, R-E-D, Red!
  • IF: I'm IF. 'Chick...?' That doesn't feel right.
  • Red: Fine, Iffy! From now on, you're gonna be my wifey.
  • IF: Wh-Who? A Wife?! Do you even know what you're saying...?
  • Red: Of course. Whoeever I love becomes my wifey, y'know? Like, marriage? Consecrating the vows...
  • IF: Your not wrong, but...
  • Red: Once I call dibs on you, if we don't get interrupted for ten minutes... That's official, right?
  • IF: Huh...? That doesn't make any sense at all.
  • Red: ...You don't wanna be my wifey?
  • IF: That's really not the point.
  • Red: Okay, then it's decided! Yay! First wifey obtained! Now I gotta look for more!
  • IF: ...More? She's definitely a child.

Great MarchEdit

  • IF: Phew. Finally. That monster was a total pushover. Nep and the others must have taken a different path while I chased it down. Footsteps?! ...They're coming closer!
  • Red: Iffffy...
  • IF: Wh-what?! *Red suddenly shows up* You're... the girl from the forest. Red, right?
  • Red: You remembered my name! As expected of Wifey Number I. My eyes know quality women.
  • IF: R-Right. Wifey Number I. So what can this quality wifey do for you?
  • Red: Oh yeah. You're traveling to hunt down monsters, right?
  • IF: Yep. We might still be surrounded. Let's get back to town as soon as we can.
  • Red: But... I just got here! We're alone! I came today... I came for you and you alone! For my beloved Wifey Number I, I brought a whole bunch of them with me while risking my life!
  • IF: Brought... what?...
  • Red: Monsters! You can fight to your heart's content now!
  • IF: ....
  • Red: Too happy to respond, eh? Man, it was tough work to round up this many. But I know it's worth it to see that stunned 0-face of yours. There's probably more then one hundred here!
  • IF: Crap! The two of us alone can't possibly stand against that many. We need to run!
  • Red: Huh? Hmm, you're not gonna fight? But I worked so hard to bring them to you...
  • IF: Red, just... take my hand and hurry!
  • (IF and Red proceed to run away)
  • IF: Haaah... ahh.... ugh. I'm so tired. Don't you dare ever try that again! Monsters are dangerous!
  • Red: I'm sorry. I thought it'd make you happy, but I guess... I went too far.
  • IF: you have to know where the line is and not cross it. But, it's kinda flattering to know you did it just for me.
  • Red: Really?! So I've increased my charisma?
  • IF: C-Charisma? Sure... by a little.
  • Red: Awesome! Charisma +101 I need to jot that down...
  • IF: ....plus 10?

Fantasy CrepeEdit

  • IF: This must be the crepe shop Nep mentioned. I've always wanted to try it so she can finally shut up and stopd pestering me about it. But crepes made in Lowee, the magical fantasy kingdom... The does sound magically delicious!
  • (IF goes to the crepe stand)
  • IF: Well then. Could I please get two custard crepes? One with the apple topping.
  • Red: In that case, make mine with pork cutlet and natto toppings, please!
  • IF: R-Red?! Where are you? You sound far away...
  • Red: Here I am! Atop this ropeway!
  • IF: I...I can't see that far. The voice is coming from that way, but...
  • Red: Waaah! I can't get down, Iffy!
  • IF: ...The voice has faded.
  • (Red suddenly shows up)
  • Red: I'm back!
  • IF: *shocked* Woah! H-how'd you get here so fast?
  • Red: Oh, don't sweat the small stuff! Where's my Squid and Radish crepe?
  • IF: That's completely different from your initial order.
  • Red: *Impatient* ....Yours looks good, in that sweet, girly, wifey sense. Is mine ready yet? I'm kinda of anxious...
  • IF: Um, you want to share my custard-only one? I haven't taken a bite out of it or anything.
  • Red: Thanks, Wifey Number I! Then why not order another one? My treat! I can't make my dearly beloved pay for me. ....How's that? More points for giving a good impression?
  • IF: I gave you one, so we're just even now. But... sure, I'll give it to you. 'Plus ten points,' as you might say.
  • Red: Oh, lets do +40
  • IF: ...twenty.
  • Red: Um, +30!
  • IF: Okay, okay. Then, you can have thirty points. Is one-hundred the limit?
  • Red: The first wifey to give me one-hundred points total geta a bonus item and hotel event!
  • IF: Bonus item? H-hotel... event?

None Of The AboveEdit

  • Red: Iffy, ready for a pop-quiz?!
  • IF: Whoa! ...Such a sudden appearance and random topic. What kind of quiz?
  • Red: It's a 'How Well Do You Know Red?' Quiz! You will answer personal, perhaps even private, questions about me!
  • IF: Um, okay. Is there going to be a question I actually know the answer to?
  • Red: *winks* I dunno! We'll find out.
  • IF: I don't see this working out, but fine.
  • Red: Okay! If you get it wrong, you have to do whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, I tell you to do.
  • IF: Wait, what....?!
  • Red: Question the first! What is Red trying to collect right now? 1) Gummies, 2) Fishies, 3) Moneys ...Five Seconds!
  • IF: F-Five seconds?! I don't see the right answer anyway!
  • Red: Five... four... three... Ooh! Another choice appears! 1) Gummies, 2) Fishies, 3) Moneys, 4) Sleepies ...which is it, Iffy?!
  • IF: What's the point of the fourth one?!
  • Red: Bzzzt! Sorry, time's up. The correct response was 'wifeys.'
  • IF: Grr, this is totally unfair. You didn't even offer the right answer in your choices.
  • Red: Correct! In this case, Iffy wins! The answer is 'none of the above!' Choosing isn't always right! Sometimes, not choosing is the correct answer! It may be reffered to as the 'harem' option!
  • IF: Okay, then I'm right. Good... I was worried for a minute.
  • Red: It was fun, right? ...By the way, this should also add points to my charisma level.
  • IF: Sure, it was interesting. So, the points added will be...
  • Red: Good! Charisma +40
  • IF: ...So you've given yourself eighty points total already, huh?

JokeEdit

  • IF: Phew, finally got it. Coming here every single day has been worth it. The top-rated bakery on all of Lowee! Their blanc-manger with white peach is their specialty. They only make a set number each day... I've been waiting to get my hands on this for such a long time... I could only get one, but that's infinitely more then zero.
  • Red: What're you talking about?!
  • IF: Red?! What are you doing underneath the bench...? Have you been waiting there all along? Were you... Manju. Msleeping there?
  • Red: Well, actually, these ants are... B-but anyway! What's that? Wiggly-squiggly gelatin?
  • IF: A dessert called Blanc-manger. I heard people talk about it, so I thought I'd try it out too.
  • Red: Ooooh....
  • IF: ...Do... you want to try a bite?
  • Red: Can I?! Sweet! Well then... Agump!
  • IF: *shock* Y-you... ate it all in one bite...
  • Red: *wide eyed* ...Huh?! There's no more left for Iffy! No chance for indirect kisses!
  • IF: Aww...
  • Red: I feel like I've upset my wifey... This calls for an idea!
  • (A little while later, IF is by herself in a guest room)
  • IF: What the hell's this? My room is being taken over by a weird, giant box. It's addressed to me... Who in the world would send me this? It's packed full of... something..
  • (IF picks up envelope)
  • IF: ...An envelope. Let's see... 'Sorry for the other day.' Uhh... 'Disappointing my beloved wifey definitely deserves minus points.' Minus points? 'As an apology. I got you a bunch of that blanc-something. -Red' *amused* Aww, I didn't know she was beating herself up over that. Oops. She didn't have to do this...
  • (IF opens the box)
  • IF: What's all this crap...? Manju...? Lowee's specialty, Lady Blanc's Manju. *Stars laughing* Pffft... Hahaha! I don't blame her for getting them mixed up. This is so like her...

Hero's ItemEdit

  • IF: Finally finished. I thought it'd be an easy quest, since all I had to do was deliver a package to some factory. I didn't expect monsters to ambush me on my way there. Would've sucked if I died.
  • (IF looks around)
  • IF: This is a weapon manufacturing factory? I've never seen weapons actually getting built from scratch before. Firearms are getting passed along an assembly line.
  • ???: Nerrrrrrr.... Merrrrrrrr..... Errrr...
  • IF: What's this weird noise? That one part there looks gigantic...
  • Red: Yo, Iffy! I don't know what's going on, but look at me getting carried away!
  • IF: *shock* Red? What?! Get down from there this instant! It's dangerous!
  • Red: Huh? The conveyor's leading to a big, scary black hole! Ahhh!
  • IF: Ooh. Looks like she fell right into a crate of weapons. I wonder if she'll get shipped out with them? ...I mean, Red, get out of there!
  • (Red appeares)
  • Red: Harumph! I'm alive!
  • IF: Don't play around like that. Last time you were on top of a ropeway, before that was on top of me... What's next? On top of a monster?
  • Red: Oooh, I didn't think about that! But I must stay loyal to my wifey.
  • IF: Red... Monsters are dangerous. Don't you have a weapon? If you're traveling alone, you really should carry something for self-defense.
  • Red: Meh, no worries! I'm armed to the teeth. I've got... Kendama... yo-yo.... throwing disc... and...
  • IF: Those aren't weapons. You don't have like a sword, spear, or gun? Actually, I'm not convinced you can be trusted with them.
  • Red: Nuh-uh! These are most definitely weapons of mass desctruction! Haven't you heard? According to some legend, there was a hero who fought off aliens with a yo-yo to rescue his dad!
  • IF: I've just never actually seen anyone use them as weapons.
  • Red: Well that's because they can only be wielded by the chosen ones! So that's why you've never seen anyone else use them!
  • IF: Okay, so you're a chosen one, like that hero? That's pretty amazing.
  • Red: Yup, I am definitely amazing!

CompatibilityEdit

  • IF: Red, aren't your parent's worried about you traveling all alone like this? If you want, you can ue one of my cell phone to talk to them.
  • Red: ....Mommy...
  • IF: Oops. Was that something I shouldn't have brought up? I guess you've got your reasons for traveling alone. Sorry.
  • Red: Iffy, I actually have a second reason for my journey besides wifey collecting.
  • IF: ....
  • Red: About a year ago, I was a normal girl happily living with my normal family... One day, I went to a local festival with my mom...
  • IF: Uh-huh...?
  • Red: All of a sudden, this giant flower monster rose up from underground! My village was overrun with violent shrubbery and all the residents, including my mom, were taken by the flower monster! I barely escaped from the attack... So after gathering enough wifeys, I'm going to use them to rescue my village.
  • IF: .... I don't believe it for a second.
  • Red: Aww, really?! I thought that was a pretty convincing story. *smiles* I'm surprised you figured it out so quick. But.... that makes me like you even more! You're Wifey Number I for a reason!
  • IF: So why would you make that up?
  • Red: It's a test to make sure you're worthy of accepting the title of my wifey! You passed, of course! Your wifey rank increased by 20 levels!
  • IF: Uh-huh. Thanks.

Wife's JobEdit

  • IF: Are you good now?
  • Red: Nooo... not yet... My wifey must lend her lap as my pillow...
  • IF: I have to go soon, though. I'm meeting up with my party.
  • Red: Nope! You're my wifey and mine alone, aren't you?
  • IF: Before that nonsense, I've got my responsibilities as a party member. Here, come on.
  • Red: Nuh-uh. This is a wifey's job...
  • IF: You're gonna... get points taken away if you keep this up.
  • Red: Wh-?! No!
  • IF: Oww... Don't get up so suddenly. Ouch....
  • Red: I'm sorry! But you said I'd get points taken away...
  • IF: Owwwww... You like fine, though.
  • Red: Huh? Yeah, of course I'm fine.
  • IF: Is your head made of stone or brick or something? You're like a barbarian who powers up by eating caveman meat.
  • Red: Huh?

Round UpEdit

  • Red: So who do you travel with? I wanna meet your party.
  • IF: I don't particularly mind, but why?
  • Red: It's my wifey's party! I have to make sure they aren't competition. Plus, It'd be a shame if I don't at least say hi.
  • IF: Why...? (after a moment) ...But, I would want you to meet Nep.
  • Red: Nep?
  • IF: One of the girls I'm traveling with.
  • Red: ...Girls?!
  • IF: My party consists entirely of girls.
  • Red: What?! You should've said so sooner! If I join your party, I could get them all to be my wifeys! Number 2, Number 3, and beyond!
  • IF: I... I don't know about that, but... no. We fight dangerous monsters.
  • Red: Fine with me! I'm a pretty touch cookie, y'know? Oh-kay! I'm gonna conquer your entire party!
  • IF: Listen, Red...
  • Red: Let's goooobetter.!
  • IF: Ugh, I should've kept my mouth shut.

Reaching 100Edit

  • Red: Achoo!
  • IF: What's wrong? Are you getting sick? Maybe you should stay in bed and rest.
  • Red: I wonder if I caught something when I was on top of the ropeway?
  • IF: And you're getting sick now? It's been way too long since then... Anyway, just go to your room, drink lots of water and sleep, okay?
  • Red: No way! What if my wifey leaves me and goes to another land while I'm resting?
  • IF: I won't. I'll make sure to stay in Lowee until you're all better.
  • Red: Yeah right! It's not like I'm an official party member or anything... My Charisma level hasn't gone up at all lately... I've got to keep working hard! I can't rest now!
  • IF: If you listen to me, you might get like twenty points...
  • Red: I'll get +20?! Then if I add it to my existing +80... Umm...
  • IF: You'll have exactly one-hundred points.
  • Red: You're right! Then, will you let me join your party when I'm all better?!
  • IF: When you're better.
  • Red: You'll travel with me?!
  • IF: When you're better.
  • Red: You'll introduce me to other wifeys?!
  • IF: Uh-huh. I bet the girls will all love you.
  • Red: You'll have a wedding with me?!
  • IF: That's another issue altogether.
  • (IF then leaves for guest room)
  • IF: Wow. She's really going to reach +100. I planned to keep it around eighty, but I couldn't help it. Otherwise she wouldn't have listened to me... I hope she doesn't get too heavily involved in our journey. I doubt she'd understand even if I explained it, though.

NewcomerEdit

  • Red: Royal Emperor Dragon... Red is back!
  • (IF appeares)
  • Red: I am now a member of your party! Where we gonna go? Leanbox? Lastation? Planeptune?
  • IF: First off, Red, I have to talk to you about something.
  • Red: Don't worry about battles! I'm really super strong. Yah! Tah!
  • IF: Listen. A lot of danger comes along with this journey, so you really should stay away from our adventure...
  • Red: Aren't you my wifey? My wifey and I are like main and sub! You can't stop me from joining you!
  • IF: Huh? I don't get it. Anyway, you've got to understand, okay?
  • Red: But I reached +100!
  • IF: ...Okay, fine. You're right. I knew it'd come to that. I figured you'd tag along with me as long as points kept getting added. But the more points I added, the more I felt I shouldn't let you come with me.
  • Red: Iffy, it's okay! I know you're always thinking what's best for me. This isn't like you, though! Saying stuff like 'Uh, do what you want' is more like, y'know, a goondere!
  • IF: The hell's a goondere?
  • Red: That's my wifey! No matter what you say, I'm joining the party.
  • IF: Ugh, fine. Do what you want.
  • Red: Atta girl!

Events After JoiningEdit

Red AlertEdit

  • Red: Phew! I think I lost her... Lady White Heart's good at chasing people! She didn't have to get so upset... I know it was like a grenade explosion, but I'm just a human. Everyone cuts a fart once in a while. Plus, the louder it is, the less smell it has. So they say. Anyway, that one was really sound-barrier shatteringly loud. ...She'll get over it soon.
  • (IF finds Red)
  • IF: Oh, there you are. Why're you sneaking around all stealthily?
  • Red: *startled* Ahhh! W-Wifey Number I? Don't scare me like that... Did you need me? Miss me?
  • IF: Delivering a message from Lady White Heart. She said... 'Don't think you're going to get away with this.' She was running around rather frantically. It was pretty out of character for her. What happened?
  • Red: Oh, crap! Hah, crap, get it?! Um, I better get going. Bye!
  • IF: *clueless* ....I don't get it. Are they playing tag? Are they both at such a playful age?

Unofficial PublishingEdit

  • Red: Oh yay! Lady White Heart gave me books, and they're just for me! She gave me one to use for reading, one to use for display, and one to use for propagating! She didn't wanna spoil it for me, so she didn't tell me what it's about... But she says the scene where a wolf boy and a tiger boy battle it out is hr favorite!
  • (After a moment Red suddenly gets an idea)
  • Red: ...Ooh, I know! I should share my excitement with Iffy too! No, wait! It's not fair to my other wifeys if I lavish Iffy with my love all the time. In this case, I'll pass it along so everyone can read it! All right, I'm such a genius! ....Lady White Heart said you won't find this book in normal stores. I wonder if it's something normal people aren't allowed to read? Hmm... I'll have to ask Iffy later!

Bed SharingEdit

  • Red: Gosh, I'm pooped. I should shower and go to sleep. Yikes! This bed's ice cold... I can't sleep in here! Oh, I know. Not like I have to sleep alone, right? I've got so many wifeys to share a bed with. I'll just let one of them share their bed with me while we're staying in Lowee. Who should I pick today? Oh, decisions, decisions! Iffy... might get mad, but Compa's too easy and probably cuddles way too much... I know Nep's completely out of the question, but...! I should really accept the challenge...
  • (Red soon becomes frustrated)
  • Red: Awww, I can't decide! No choice. I'll just roll the die and see where my fortune lies. ...Hyah! Ooh, I wonder who I'll get... Nep? Iffy? Someone else? What is it? What is it?! The.... the number five!
  • (IF Appears)
  • IF: Number five is your bed.
  • Red: Awww, nuts!

Beautiful GentlemanEdit

  • Red: Iffy, Lady Green Heart finally agreed to have me!
  • IF: *annoyed* What're you talking about? What'd she agree to?
  • Red: To marry me, of course!
  • IF: Oh, was there like a ten minute rule or something?
  • Red: it's different. We already had a ceremony and everything.
  • IF: A ceremony...? You're surely not talking about a wedding, are you...?
  • Red: Yeah, a wedding! What else? We got married!
  • IF: Isn't that too soon? And what happened to all that Wifey Number I crap? You just move from person to person?
  • Red: Lady Green Heart's a boy, though.
  • IF: Liar.
  • Red: Nuh-uh! She's got a really cool character on Four Goddesses Online!
  • IF: Four Goddesses... Online?
  • Red: Yup. We got married in the game!
  • IF: O-oh. Your talking a game. Good. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
  • Red: Lady Green Heart's a real gentleman. She shares her stamina when I'm in danger and sends me rare equipment as gifts!
  • IF: Uh-huh. That's nice.
  • Red: Where do you think we'll go on our honeymoon? A tropical island in the shape of a heart, maybe?!
  • IF: Right, heart-shaped island...
  • Red: Lady Green Heart's gonna wear a tux and I'll be in a dress and we'll have a sugary-sweet time together! Talking about this stuff makes me miss her... I'm gonna go back to her room now!
  • IF: Wha-.... Hey! Wait...! ...What's up with that? She looks like she's having fun, I guess. *annoyed*

LEFT 4 REDEdit

  • Red: *very happy* Ahahaha, that was awesome!
  • IF: You're in a good mood. Were you playing games with Lady Green Heart again?
  • Red: Yep! She's got so many! I never, ever get bored in her room.
  • IF: ...So what kind of game did you play today?
  • Red: A shooting game! She said it's an FPS game or something. You hold this gun and shoot at bad guys!
  • IF: ....FPS? ....Guns? Was there a lot of blood?
  • Red: Oh yeah, buckets and buckets! Like a slimy, bloody hell!
  • IF: Red, do you remember seeing a letter in a black and white box on the game's package? Like E, or T... It's the game's rating. Do you remember what it had?
  • Red: It was an Eeeeem...
  • IF: ...I'm going to have a chat with Lady Green Heart.

With GoddessesEdit

  • Red: Iffy, I've got a present for you today.
  • IF: A present? Um, thanks. What's the occasion?
  • Red: I... I can't tell you! It's got nothing to do with me wanting to raise my Charisma level, just so you know.
  • IF: ....All rightm thanks. I'll just accept your kidn thoughts. That's all I need.
  • Red: You've got to take the present, too! You're way too mean! I had such a hard time finding it! You like that one goddess, right?
  • IF: *blushes* R-Right. I mean, I respect them all for protecting entire landmasses on their own. Meeting them in person really... changed how I see them.
  • Red: Well, guess what?! You can match that one goddess with this item! Ta-da! Kichiku Megane Harlem Set for Virgins!
  • IF: Wh-what are you talking about?! Why would any goddess own such a thing?!
  • Red: I'm not kidding. I found this in Lady Green Heart's room one day. I didn't know where to get it, but I finally found a copy on the interweb thing. Here you go!
  • IF: ...Th-Thanks.
  • (Red then leaves)
  • IF: She must've seen something else and mistook it for this, just like the Blanc Manju debacle. Yup, yup. ....

Death-WannabeEdit

  • Red: Lady Black Heart's gun... That thing was so cool! All the goddesses have a gun. I want one, too! There are monsters everywhere. ... I'm sure nobody would mind if I got one. If I'm gonna get a gun, I want something real stylish and manly, like a dual revolver! I'll destroy everything and get overkills! Yaaaaaay!

No OgreEdit

  • IF: You keep talking about wife-hunting. Aren't you interested in guys?
  • Red: Hmm, not sure. I do play a lot of games with guy protagonists. I borrowed one from Lady Green Heart the other day. It was a story based on the Shinsengumi.
  • IF: Huh. I played a game like that recently. Maybe they were the same? ...Was everyone in it really hot?
  • Red: Yeah!
  • IF: The effects and storyline were also great. I couldn't put it down!
  • Red: Me neither!
  • IF: *blushes* Was the main character around my age?
  • Red: Nope!
  • IF: ...Huh? Does Okita say something like 'I'll kill you?'
  • Red: Nope. Actually, Okita was the main character. You control Okita and fight Ryoma Sakamoto and Takamori Saigo!
  • IF: ....I was definitely thinking about another game.

How Many Wives?Edit

  • Red: Iffy is Wifey Number I. Compa is a 'go' as well... I'm still softening Nep up... Man, wifey hunts are starting to get intense. I thought I'd be able to close Nep alongside Compa since they seem to be really good buddies. On second, I'm on the right track... Then another second I'm way off the mark! It's so hard! Ify did mention I probably wouldn't be able to get Nep's agreement... She said taming me and Nep is an impossible feat! Hahaha, whatever! I'm not that difficult!
  • (Red is happy for a moment, but then realizes something)
  • Red: ... Wait! Is she treating me the same as Nep?! I'm not that loud! Or pudgy!

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